1meforyou3

My boyfriends mother is someone who I have grown very close to. I would definitely call her a friend. I would talk to her every day. She was someone I could talk to. I have known her for 4+ years. In this past year she has completely morphed into this mean, vindictive, cold hearted relentless person... I don't know her anymore the person I know is gone and has been gone for quite some time. COME TO FIND OUT she has been cheating on her husband and lying to me, my boyfriend, his older sister and his little sister (who is like my own little sister) She is 20 And her mother took most of her anger and self hatred out on her. It has been awful. We moved out in September. The day we moved out she called the cops and said we were threatening her. 3 cops showed up to the house. She locked us out.. Needless to say we still haven't been able to pick up the rest of our things. She is so far gone, and when you look at her she looks so empty and lost. None of us had spoken to her since that day. She sent a text message to my boyfriend and his sister saying "I love you and I miss you".. She sent it about a week before Thanksgiving... She is just lonely for the holidays. She is so selfish... We found out that she has been cheating and lying since LAST november.. What a joke.. On top of all of this she used to date this man about 20 something years ago and when We spoke with his oldest sister she started screaming and wouldn't calm down... This man used to do drugs with his mother and when his oldest sister was about 5 he would beat them.. And now she is back with this SICK bastard!!! I hate what she is done. I'm sick over it... And now she Text messages them??? Where does she get off? She doesn't even have the balls to CALL!!!! I'm broken hearted and dumb founded... What can you say to them when they don't want to get out of bed... Or when they cry so hard that they throw up... Or when they won't eat???



Monday, October 09, 2006

Only you...


This is the calm before the storm...

And I know you will bring all the vengeance that your soul holds...

You can see it too my love... Yes, we are through you know...



You are Loved

You are broken

you are naked

You are exposed



You are Cold

You are Alone

You are Used

You are Tired

You are Emotionless

You are Empty

You are Hopeless

You are Vindictive

You are Cheap

You are to Blame

And you are ready for more...



Still...



I wanted you in my life forever, Wanted to see your face on Christmas mornings, on my wedding day, in my home..



My love where have you gone?



You know that we will hold you close & you will pull the trigger...

How dare you blame us for your dirty affairs..

Run away now...But run to us with hopes of forgiveness.



Please show me there is more inside of you...

Please show me there is more inside of you...



I don't want to see you holding the smoking gun.

Again...



You will lose more than you ever knew you had..

Take a look at your reflection. Is this who you really want to be?



Can we end this battle???



Look past today. Look into yourself. Find what's wrong. Stop pointing your finger...

Soon the days and the hours and the seconds will be all that you have...



Go cry about it why don't you...

Work is mind numbing.. Granted I love the UofU and it pays okay but I just feel like I am at the end of my rapidly fraying rope... A dead end... None of that beautifully broken bullshit. JUST BOREDOM. And no hopeful future!!! School debt, CC dept and home loan dept is all that seems to be ahead. The daily monotony on top of the undecided career choice, on top of the money worries, on top of ALL the other junk filling up my life is wearing me out...

I am new to the live journal thing and so far so good... I don't completely understand the WHOLE concept but I like what I see... It would be nice to meet new people and get to know point of views, political ideas and a world outside of mine...